I am working this weekend which means Friday I am up till BD arrives home then, nap till time to go. I am lucky. My babies have BD. They get a loving parent on the weekends when Mama works. Sleep deprivation is not as bad and work is less work when I get sleep. But oh the cost. My heart aches each time my LO comes in seeking my love and time and gets redirected with "mama needs to sleep," walking away quietly defeated. As the weekend progresses Ninja baby skills kick in and stealth drive by Mama visits occur. Mama see this & Mama I love you. In half sleep world I hear them. Baby girl wanting only milk now and then the arms of daddy for comfort, instead of sleep nursing. DS still trying. He tries to understand and comply. He will put his foot down when BD goes to work and insist on staying home with Mama Monday even though there is only a grouchy shell of me left for him. Work on Monday, then the fight on Tuesday to see if he wants to go to Mamoo's so I can sleep, a little. Last time, I just gave in and had him stay.
I won't MAKE him go. I cannot bring myself to force him away. I love them more than air. I am just one of those working Others.
Today I am..... Mother.
Today my Baby Girl said Mama. Ma Ma Ma Ma. Right after I wrote this post, BD brought her in while I was sleeping. He was like, Umm, I think she wants you. I laid her down to nurse her and she giggled and squeeked. No nurse, no nap, just a new baby skill. Then back with Daddy. Sometimes the Universe knows you need a break. I still think that being a night-time full-time working Mama sucks right now, but this made it a better day;-)